My Second Life · {the life of jane}

{where to start?}

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Hair – magika, dress – miss Chelsea 

It took me over 45 mins to get fully dressed and figure out what the hell to wear last night. My inventory is like a dust covered vipers’ nest, that is covering pandora’s box. I have not a clue in the freaking world on where to start with this mess, it needs done. It always needs done. I think it’s like cleaning in SL.

Hear me out. Cleaning in RL is something that a lot of people find to be a task. In it’s nature it is a chore. Many of us got paid to do things like take out the trash or clean the litter box as kids. I don’t mind some tasks of cleaning. I can wash floors, clean counters, even scrub my bathroom all day but I hate dishes. LOVE to cook… hate dishes. I will skirt around doing dishes as much as possible… but once a day I gotta suck it up and stand and wash dishes for an hour. I think organizing my inventory is like doing dishes.

It’s something that I will avoid until it is absolutely necessary. Well guys… it’s necessary now. With wanting to work towards opening my own photostudio I need to get my house in order. If I spent that long just trying to get dressed I really need to take a look at just how long it would take me to find poses or backdrops. It would take me much longer than it really should.

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jacket/top – pixie cat, leggings – blueberry, hair – tentra (flf)

So now I get to start the task of making some sort of sense from my inventory. It’s gonna not be fun. I am probably going to try and quit half way through (again) but damn it I gotta do it. I am trying to make a deal with myself about the inventory mess, if I can get it all done by sunday then I get to watch GoT… live and child free (thanks to my awesome RL hubby). This does not sound like a great motivator for most but for me…. who honestly stays up till after midnight ever sunday just to be able to watch GoT with out having to pause it 50 times… it is the best motivator I can think of.

I really hope that I don’t keep putting it off, because that tiny little voice in my head says “No one sees your inventory but you… so why clean it?” which in my brain is like a totally valid reason to NEVER organize my inventory, but then I remember trying to find the jacket I wanted to wear in the photo above. If I could have remembered the name, or even who made it… I could have found the jacket (from Pixie Cat btw) in probably 90 second but no, it took me a full 10 mins to search through my folders trying to find where this was.

So I am not too sure what is going to be up on my blog in the next few days. I may post about what I am finding in my inventory… or how I am so avoiding doing it <.< (which seems far more likely). Either way, wish me luck on this insane project I have. Hopefully I don’t rage quit half way through…again.

 

 

My Second Life · random stuff · {the life of jane}

{out and about}

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See guys… I said I was gonna try to get out a bit and I did. Now I did just go window shop a bit and check out a few gacha yard sales. I did venture to the Portal Hub… it was really pretty and I kept trying to get the damn floor to rez for a photo but I gave up up just took this because it was a nice enough photo. I hopped around to a few clubs, even spoke in local chat! OMG I know right?! And I reached out to an acquaintance that I would like to become a friend. All in all I was pretty happy about my ventures into trying to be social.

I also found it funny when I was getting dressed today that I went towards more goth than I had been in the last few days. I swear I must be the only person who goes goth when they are trying to cheer themselves up!

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So these aren’t new pieces by any means. One… my cash flow is tight trying to buy things I need to hopefully get my studio up and going at some point in the next few months. It’s a long and expensive process now that I am really breaking things down and looking at things. It’s still something I want to do but I am having to adjust my timeline so to speak. The jeans are my favorite pair, Blueberry. The top is from DRBC another favorite of mine. Both are things that I would 100% wear in RL as well.

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The Skin is from Pumec and is from the July Powder pack, as is the lip gloss and blush I am wearing (for the life of me I can’t remember who made it now). The eye shadow is one of my favorite from Suicidal Unborn, as are the piercing… they are from the Somber event btw and are a GREAT bento piercing set because it comes with a lot of great options to really customize your piercings. I am one of those people that are pretty brand loyal when it comes to things like make up and Suicidal Unborn is becoming one of my favorite brands in short order for sure. The quality of their appliers they put out really is some of the best “gothic” make up on grid.

Like always… my tattoos are from Dappa and are from the May Bish Box.  My Mesh ears are from Mandala, they are where I get most of my ears both human and elf. I have been super loyal to them for the better part of my SL life. I used to be obsessed with their ring & nail sets.

Tomorrow I am probably gonna show you guys a little bit of what I have been doing around my land including getting my newest house decorated and my new sky platform for my photography work. Fun times!

My Second Life · {the life of jane}

{safe haven or self imposed prison?}

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I have been thinking back to my early days in SL, on my first avatar… I got on her last night to get some old pictures and got sucked down a memory worm hole. I was a social butterfly on Kay. I ran around to all the clubs, I worked as a dancer, host, and DJ. I loved DJing… that was one of my favorite past times in my old SL life. I was party girl… who may or may not have been slightly mentally unhinged at the time. I had a really drama filled romance that (at least in old note cards) played out like a bad fan fiction. Kayleigh had a full… all be it crazy… second life.

It was so odd to think that was me. That I am really the same person, well I guess I am really not that person any more. Now clubs give me panic attacks, I always feel like I am not wanted or welcome there. It’s a problem in my RL that I never in a million years thought would pass over in SL.

This weekend I went to an event for bloggers at the Blogger & Vlogger Network. I barely said a word. One of my favorite bloggers was there, I had told myself that if I saw her that I would send her an IM to say hi and let her know that her work really inspires me. Well I sat with an IM open to her for 25 mins and couldn’t for the life of me find the words to type her. When I did I rewrote a single sentence a dozen times and then didn’t even send it and TPed out there.

I felt so defeated. This was not the person I once was in SL. I was always bold and social in SL… because behind the pixel mask I wasn’t as afraid to be myself. I started thinking what changed? What fundamentally changed about how I interact with people in SL that I now am so afraid to even say hello?

I guess when I was such a social person and out there type of person in SL because I had a social circle that I was almost always with. I knew people, my friends knew people… I didn’t feel like an odd man out. While I am still super close with my SL peeps… it’s not in SL any more. We interact far more outside of SL than we ever did in world.

I am trying to go down a new path in SL… I am trying my hand at perhaps starting a family. It would work well with my hopes of one day soon having my own photography buisness but so far I really haven’t had too much luck. Adoption is a scary process. I have had a few interactions and that self doubt has really cropped up again. Am I too wired? I am comming off too friendly, too open… so many questions and no real answers.

Right now I am really doubting myself a lot. I made up my mind to put out and decorate a new house. Just something to do to hopefully lift my spirits. I picked up this really pretty house at the Apple Fall sale, now I am not sure if long term it is going to be the house for me but if not it would serve really well as a building for my studio. I am enjoying myself… it’s a good distraction from my inner demons at the moment.

I guess I should try to get out more in SL…. I gotta meet people again. I gotta try and break out of my little prison that my house and land has become.

I heard that Cassie Middles is doing a dating game show for her youtube.. I saw a “Friendship take over” version of it the other day… perhaps I will sign up to try and be on it. My luck though I would get picked… go and fucking crash… (see how my brain works >.<)

ah… well I will blog some of the other stuff that I picked up at the Apple Fall sale when I get a chance this week.

 

Current Events · My Second Life

{crawling in my skin}

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I am of that age group that is probably a little more emotionally effected by the news of Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington’s apparent suicide. When I heard the news last night I was making dinner and checked my FB and it was a filled with my friends sharing the same TMZ story. I didn’t want to believe it was true, TMZ is gossip and tabloid site… they are far from credible. Then the other stories, from far more credible sources came out and I actually got so emotional I walked in the other room and cried.

I am never one to beat around the bush about my own mental health struggles. I have battled my own demons for most of my life and nearly took my own life on more than one occasion. Linkin Park’s music was reminder to me in my darkest days that I wasn’t alone in the way I felt, that I could keep going. That I needed to keep fighting. I know that was never the intention of their music, but I also know that I am far from the only person to site Linkin Park’s music as something that has gotten us through some dark times. To think that the front man, the face of the band, took his own life… alone… knowing the desperation that one feels to reach that point breaks my heart in a way I really can’t put into words.

I am not religious, but I hope that Chester has found peace. I hope that his children will be able to not just see how their father’s life ended but the mark he made on the world through his music. I know it is of little solace to the family but his music will live on. His fans will never forget him.

Please if you are struggling, reach out to someone…anyone… and ask for help. The world can’t afford to keep losing their brightest stars… ❤

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number
  • 1-800-273-8255

 

My Second Life

{trying to make a buck}

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I think one of the things that is hard for me is keeping on task. I have a million little ideas that I want to do in SL but I gotta pick one or two and stick to them. So after some deep thoughts I have decided to open my own photo studio to take a few appointments a week for photos priced at a reasonable amount (I am still working on pricing). Now, just like in real life I gotta come up with the capital to start this business.

So like so many people before me I am selling my Gacha extras to help fund this business. Now I am putting my RL money into as well, but poses, backdrops, props and all that are not cheap and while I am building client base (hopefully) I gotta come up with another form of income to help me get this business off the ground.

I am still gonna keep my Lost Girl Desgins shape business going as well, but that will always just be a MP based business. I see no reason for me to make that an in world store at this time as I really make these shapes more for myself to play with and toss them up on the MP for only 99L$ so if someone likes them or needs a shape for their new bento head… there ya go with out breaking the bank because good god damn bento heads are expensive!

I am one of those people that knows that I will always end up putting money into SL but it can’t hurt to try and start some kind of business as well because ya know what guys… blogging is expensive as all get up! I am no where big enough to seek out blogger positions yet so all the stuff I blog I pay for, so please help me keep this blog going by supporting my businesses!

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Main Shop: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Nuernberg%20West/216/32/28

My Table @ Epic Gacha : http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Beraudes/46/224/3334

All Commons  10L$ – 35L$, Items from all the “big” gacha events. New & Old. Doe, Glam Affair, Spell, Astraila, Alme, Commet, Moon Amore, Disorderly, Birch, and more! Hair, skins, clothes… really I have little bit of everything!

Please come buy my junk and help me get Winter Rose Studio off the ground!!!!

My Second Life · random stuff · {the life of jane}

{the life of jane}

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In an attempt to try and step up my blogging game… and just my photography game in general I have just been going through my inventory (which really is an ongoing process to try and keep it some what cleaned up *sigh*) and just putting together little sets, little outfits and just playing around with lighting, poses I forgot I had (isn’t that scary lol). The pictures ended up turning out quite nice for the most part.

I am calling them {the life of jane} because to me they look like little snapshots out of someone’s life.

This whole set came about because I totally forgot I got these awesome Seriacha panties from Wonderlost a while back and wanted to actually use them some how, they aren’t up on marketplace so you have to go the Wonderlost in world store to find them. So I paired it with this slouchy sweatshirt from DRBC ( https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/drbc-cara-sweater-spells-boxed/11162634) which is one of my favorites. It made this super chill, late night hanging at home vibe.

Which I knew would work great with this pose set from MILA that I had just snagged. (https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/MILA-POSES-Should-I-Call/11818031) I tossed out one of my RAMA sets from a Gacha from I think last month’s Gacha Guardians event, it’s called Wedding Apartment. I added a cute little cuddle couch that I picked up from last weeks FLF. It’s not the most complex set in the world but I thought it was pretty enough.

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I kept my make up simple, just some Zombie Suicide eye shadow and these beautiful lip glosses from Warpaint that I just am in love with. My skin is from Glam Affair, it’s a gacha item I picked up on the market place. The tattoos are obviously my very favorite thing from the May Bish Box, they are from Dappa. My hair again is a stand by of mine from Doe.

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The second set and look I did was a little lighter. I used the same Rama set, but I tossed out some of my bedroom furniture. The dresser is by Atomic and is from the Into the Woods set. The Bed is from Pillows I believe. I also snagged that awesome pink troll, calling my straight back to my childhood, from Plastik by playing a gacha at their main store.

The outfit is a really simple and pretty comfortable look. The top is from the Hippie and High outfit from B.D.R and I chose to go with out the selves. Again… my favorite Blueberry leggings and my favorite necklace from Plastik finish off the look. I kept the make up the same and swapped out the Doe hair for on from Magika called Meadow.

I was so pleased with how this picture came out. I wish I had thought to take some different photos in this light because it really is very pretty.

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The last one I have to show you guys is this beauty. I really like this picture a lot. It’s simple yet not and there is just something about how the lighting makes her look that just make me happy.

The dress is an old stand by of mine from R3volt. The hair, make up and skin are all the same. I switched the tattoos but for the life of me I can’t remember who they are by. I have some out takes (I guess you can call them) from this set that I will post probably later today or tomorrow with full outfit break downs for you guys.

Theses were just my favorites of the bunch. I am going to actually start posting some of my less favorites as well just to show how my work is progressing and they are good too… just not my favorites lol

I hope you enjoyed this little random post. I am trying to make going through my inventory fun again… not that it ever really was but I can lie to myself right?

My Second Life · random stuff

Not so easy Sunday Morning,

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I am not one to try and complain about RL… but the last few days I have been kinda miserable feeling. The phrase “Why are you trying to kill me uterus?” has come out of my mouth about once an hour… if you catch my drift. So energy levels are in the toilet and all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch ‘My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’ and cry about how Greg left the show. (No lie guy… this was my friday night plans)

I knew wanted to do something in SL though, so I set about setting up a little bedroom/studio apartment. I didn’t have a ton of stuff to decorate with surprisingly enough. I have lots of clothes and too much hair… but decor I was lacking.

I was going to do a whole shopping adventures about this but I ran into the problem of furniture is still really expensive and I didn’t have a ton of L$ to work with for this. I discovered though you could find some really awesome pieces on gacha yard sales on the market place. I set a limit of a max 150 L$ per item and set about the task of decorating my space.

I am still in the process of actually decorating. It is pretty time consuming and I am way out of practice but I am really enjoying. I first started with a little chill corner. Most of the items are either from the Mary Jane set from Bad Unicorn and Birch or the Goa Party set and I am not 100% sure it’s by atm. I really loved the detail on these object and you know the beauty of SL is pretty everything goes lol.

I did have that cute little pillow pile in my inventory already (https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/HH-Boho-Jewel-Pillow-Pile/6429714) and I snagged that Baker Street sign from Junk because I LOVE Sherlock and I really wanted some kind of Baker Street sign for my space.

I am still in the process of decorating so maybe this will be a part of series about my space? I am hoping to get some more the “Sleeping” space done tonight so who knows maybe tomorrow I will do a post about that.